Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Schrodinger's President

I was really tired last night.  And for some reason, listening to people discuss statistics (even though they had graphics and pie charts... (my favorite kind of chart...)) was not helping... I kept falling asleep in front of the TV.  So even though it was very unclear who was going to win the Election to End All Elections, I went to bed, thinking, "Well, whoever wins they'll still have won when I get up..."

[insert sleeping here.]

I woke up before the alarm went off, pinned in place by two cats on either side of my legs.  (Haven't turned the heat on yet, and I suspect this was some form of feline protest...)  I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, and therein realized.... "Oh, yeah... the Election.... I wonder what happened...?"  And for a moment I lived in a world where either of them could be president....  (or, more practically, neither of them were president, and President Obama is still in office....)  It was weird, and strangely peaceful AND alarming.  (I don't bring my phone to the bathroom, so this state had to persist until I was finished, washed up and could go back to the clock radio...)

So, washed up, took pills (preemptive medication?) and brushed my teeth.  At this point I was starting to get curious, so I walked over, and at that same moment the radio snapped on (again, I'd gotten up before the alarm went off....)  BBC News was in the middle of a story.  They seemed to be interviewing someone and they were talking about "...what this (?) means for Europe...."  They were talking more about countries exiting the E.U.  "Hmm, not good," I thought, but let's go downstairs and put on the TV.

I should point out I don't have cable news right now...  Just network coverage, and I was quite surprised that the first thing I could find was the Today Show doing a bit with Dr. Oz (who was no doubt doing a pitch for his own show later on the same channel).  I start flipping channels... and with my other hand engage my mobile phone to Facebook, and that's when I learned the results....  which parallel universe I'd woken up in.

[long pause while that sinks in]

You know what I noticed immediately....  nearly all the reporters on television (members of the maligned "Media") all seemed shell-shocked.  Like none of them could form the words "President-Elect..." without seeming stunned somehow.   Maybe they'd just stayed up too late....?

Having missed all the statistics and numbers and analysis and without any of the cable news outlets on endless re-hash, I guess I'll never know exactly what happened.  I do feel like I woke up on the wrong Earth.  But I'm starting to get used to feeling that way... it's how I feel most days...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to feed the cats and look at what's involved in emigrating to Australia...