May your devestating winter blues give way to your debilitating spring allergies*

* Okay, the title wasn't mine, I paraphrased something I saw on someecards...

So I was talking to Boppie (who's currently worrying about wind-blown radiation) over IM the other day and we were talking about the mouse story, and we realized another level of horror from the mouse's point of view. See he thinks he's made it to relative safety and comfort or at least respite from the vicious killers trying to get at him under the secretary in the kitchen, and looking around he sees he is amongst other mice, and just as he's saying, "Okay, Guys, what's our next move? Guys?" he realizes they're not real mice at all, but creepy, artificial mice, in some cases cobbled back together from parts. It would be like being chased by a pack of serial killers into a mannequin factory. *laughter* No? Well, we thought it was tres amusing.

* * *

I came across this piece on the napping habits of several famous men, thus finding more evidence in favor of napping. Not that I needed more evidence. That case was firmly decided long ago...

* * *

I'm quite certain there was more originally, but that's all for right now. TiVo talk coming soon. And I really need to redo this blog... it needs a make-over...

I often wish...

...that my "To Do" lists were more like some of these. (I like to believe Kat's are like that...)

This is one of those days I don't really have anything I feel I need to say (or nothing I feel I need to say that I suspect anyone wants to read... I mean, really, how long a continuous transliteration of a scream do I want to type anyhow?)

So in order to keep with my "can I post to the blog for a week straight?" challenge -- oh, yeah, that's what I'm doing, BTW, but I figured if I expounded upon that concept at great length I'd post once and that would be it... Let's see if I've gone and cursed myself now that I've said something...

Anyway, in order to keep up with the plan, I guess I'll just be sharing some random things that made me smile-to-laugh (somewhere along that continuum, anyway):

• A new webcomic (well, not new, but new to me) -- mostly for Jado, because he likeys the webcomics...
• The comic geniuses at the Reduced Shakespeare Company did a video for Sky1 TV (in the UK) and reduced the entirety of LOST (I think up to the last season). Enjoy. If you've never had the good fortune to see the RSC, well, local folks, they're playing the Kennedy Center for about 2-3 weeks starting next week I think. Go. You can thank me later.

Well, that's about it. They can't all be brilliant...

A Change of Plans

Or "How Being a Nice Guy Means You Miss Your Concert and Get to Go to the Emergency Room Instead..."


I should start by explaining that Easter has never been at the top of my "favorite holidays" list (yeah, I have one... what of it? I have lists for everything). I'm not into the religious aspect, I'm not a big eater of candy (or plastic eggs or marshmallow chicks...), and Spring is ranked 4th place on my "list of favorite seasons" (see? told ya...) That said, this weekend wasn't that big a deal, though I did have some plans that I'd made a month or longer ago.

Those initial plans involved a field trip with some folks from work to go on one of the monthly paintball excursions (I missed every, single one last year... and I was the one who gave the the idea in the first place....) Then on Wednesday or Thursday the plan got postponed because of the weather (who wants to go run around in the rain and the mud? The answer to that question, incidentally, is "Andy," who was quite upset that we postponed, but that's another story...)

So I came up with alternate plans. I found out from the ADSW mailing list that there was a free concert at the Smithsonian Museum of the American Indian. It sounded pretty cool (and was free), plus there was an exhibit there that also interested us. Awesome.

Then on Friday my cell rings near the end of the day. I don't recognize the number, but it's local so I answer it. It's D. from AWLA -- would we be interested in fostering a momma cat and her fresh out of the oven six (count 'em... six...) babies. Recalling that as recently as a month ago MLW said that if we were going to foster again, we'd go for an adult cat, I told D. I'd check and get back to her, but I wasn't really sure. Much to my surprise (well, sorta), MLW totally said, "Yeah, sure." Okay, because they won't be a lot of time or effort I'm sure... for three months or so... But whatever.

So today (Saturday) after diddling around a bit, I went over the shelter to pick up the latest batch and their supplies. It took longer than I was expecting (which again, based on my past experiences was silly, but then, that's what I do... mis-estimate time) and by the time I got home and we got everyone situated where they were supposed to be, it was too late for us to get into DC. Ah, well... no harm, no foul... Maybe I could get in a nap...

I was finishing up something on the computer (the story of my life). MLW goes upstairs; she wanted to check on things, since we heard a the metal gate fall down (we'd gotten a rabbit pen -- a collapsible set of metal fences that we use to hold the rabbits at the shelter. I had thought we could use it to sort of block our monsters from getting into the bathroom while at the same time keeping the foster cats in, even though the kittens are not really locomoting yet...) And then a few minutes later, the screaming started. There was a yell, something to the effect of "Damn it!" which in this context usually means a cat got past where it was supposed to be able to go. And then things got worse. And the screaming intensified... human screaming, cat screaming, I was pretty sure I heard something else in there too.

"Guess I'd better get upstairs," I thought, taking the laptop from my lap and placing it besides me, just as the phrase, "I need some HELP up here..." came wafting down the stairs. Running up the stairs, I go.

What I see is indeed a bizarre and disturbing sight. I run past Morrigan and Artemis, who are both poofed*. MLW is standing, with her back to the guest bathroom (which doubles as "Foster Cat HQ" in Schloss O'Mazur), she's got the folded up gate in-between her and Loki (our oldest and resident Grumpy grump) who is also poofed and is growling and striking out in her general direction. One of her (MLW's) legs I can plainly see is covered in blood. Artemis runs into this view (still poofed) and rapidly smacks Loki in the nose three or four times, then tears away. This happens at least twice.

I think I foolishly, inquired as to what happened, while MLW is basically screaming for me to get him (Loki) away from her. So, wearing a short sleeve shirt (no arm protection!), I move towards Loki. I make sure he sees me, and I hold my hand out and I just hope he does not bite too hard. Much to my (later) surprise, I realize he let me pick him up and carry him away without so much as a scratch. I hold him tightly and take him into the bedroom.

MLW comes through and says she's going to rinse her leg off to see how bad the damage is. After a moment or two of holding and soothing words, I let Loki go, he retreats to the far side of the bed. Meanwhile, Morrigan and Artemis take turns running in and out of the doorway, alternately poofing. At this point I notice that Eris (who usually has not the slightest compunction for her own well-being or safety) has been hiding under our bed during (I presume) this entire episode.

I go to attend to MLW. She is, looking kinda queasy (adrenaline always does that to her)... and quite frankly her leg looks like she was mauled by a small, yet demented shark on crack. "What happened?" I ask again, in an effort to try and understand the carnage I'm now inspecting.

As best as we can tell, Artemis knocked the "fence" down, probably in a failed effort to climb it, which made the crashing noise. MLW went in to check on momma cat. Momma cat hissed at her and MLW decided, "okay, I can take a hint" and backed out the room. But as she backed through the door, Momma charged her, taking a brief, drive-by chomp/scratch combo. Encountering the metal fence, she turned and ran back in the room. MLW closed the door. Problem solved, or so the uninitiated might think...

Now much as I try, I'm no cat expert. Cats are mysterious creatures, cloaked in riddles, wrapped in enigmas. And in the case of our four, dipped in a little crazy sauce for that extra "SHAZAM!" that makes life interesting... Maybe momma was exuding pheromones. Maybe fear has an tangible smell. Maybe my little ones don't like change. Maybe Loki was happy being an only and every time we bring in a foster group he fears we're going to give him just a little bit less of our time, his food, or love or that for some reason (and I don't know why he'd think this...) we're going to add to the O'Mazur pride and he'll have more little monsters to deal with. I dunno. All I know is that he went all Chompy McBiteypants on MLW's lovely leg. I mean, "ouch."

But it's good; it's good for me to practice my first aid skills. I really don't get much opportunity to use that merit badge knowledge if it weren't for MLW. So much surgical grade rubbing alcohol and 15 or more band-aids of various shapes and sizes later, MLW had more or less stopped bleeding. (Later I realized there was blood on the carpet and she'd gotten some on the wall, but one thing at a time...)

So while 95% of the bites were Loki, for whom we could vouch for, shots and paperwork-wise, I figured I needed to report the bite from momma shelter cat. So I called SD, my favoritist of my AWLA peeps. We talk. And talk. And then there are other calls. And conference calls.

On the plus side, no one was going to need to get a needle. On the downside, both SD and D. insisted that MLW go to the hospital. To emphasize their point, they each broke out five or six, "I saw this one person get a cat bit -- tiny little kitten, barely broke the skin... they had to amputate his whole arm.." stories. I love those stories. We had already decided (well, I had anyway... MLW can be funny about this stuff...) that she needed to go see her doctor on Monday. But they were insistent, and hell, we didn't have anything else we were going to do tonight anyway (I kid...)

So one exciting visit to INOVA Alexandria Hospital's Emergency Room later (only took about an hour, and I only saw one person with a nearly severed finger) -- this, curiously, being both of our first visits to an emergency room (if you don't count dropping off and picking up) -- and a subsequent stop at the CVS to pick up the antibiotics, well, I believe MLW will be walking again...

No, seriously, everything is fine. And Loki seems okay these days. And we've set the gate up in sort of an airlock, kind of set-up so we should be good from here on out. And the babies, while still in "mutant bear worm™" stage are kinda cute.

More details and possibly names and photos (of the kitties, not MLW's wounds) to follow.

What did you do today?


* = "poofed" is a word we use to describe the body-language and posture of a cat that is either scared or angry. "Poofing" can just occur in the tail or even part of the tail and can start from the tip down or base up. The hair along the spine can also get involved.

True story

So MLW, comes over to where I'm sitting with two glasses of water in her hands. A bizarre hand-dance takes place where I don't know which glass she's offering me. Left, right, left again. Finally, I take a glass and I say, "Did I get the right one?"

MLW: What do you mean?
Me: Did I get the one you put the poison in?
MLW: ...
Me: *chuckles*
MLW: Silly man, the poison's in both glasses. I just take the antidote every night.
Me: *gulp*

* * *

So, naturally, that has nothing to do with what I was here to post.

Random superhero news -- according to CNN.com these "tough times" (and I assume by that the fact that I don't have any money my accounts...) lead to the rise of superheroes. Meanwhile there was this article from The Onion. Finally, this short film (which is in Norweigan, btw...) is a cute little 8 minutes and well-worth watching.

* * *

Of course, I have more stuff to talk about, this thing already published itself by mistake once. We'll have more soon, I hope, even if we have to go back in time to get it there.

An Amusing bit...

...I heard on NPR yesterday on the way to the chiropractor. It sort of sums up the election rather nicely. Click here and then on the "listen now" link.

Brain Buffer = 7

So Cousin Zach...

...might have a future in opera...

We babysat for the second time in his life and well, I think it was... um... well, actually jury's still out on whether it was "better" or "worse." The first time, Zach screamed for half an hour and then MLW picked him up, he fell asleep, and stayed that way until his parents came to claim him (fun side note: the power went out about an hour later, so we had no choice but to literally watch him sleep after that...)

This time, he started crying three minutes after he realized his parents weren't in the room (they were at the Bon Jovi concert). By comparison, it was more crying than screaming (maybe his voice changed and he can't hit the high notes any more?) He continued for about and hour and a half, and then MLW picked him up and, you guessed it; he fell asleep.

I just wind up feeling like we're lousy babysitters... nothing we do seems to help. Toys, TV, reading to him, food... hell, I even enlisted Loki to help at one point (and he tried). Ah, well, maybe it's the separation anxiety phase he's in.

* * *

In other news, an awesome new Iron Man Trailer brought to my attention by MLW.

* * *

And a way overdue addition to the links over on the side. OriginalWeb's blog, which is updated far more frequently, and is much more amusing than mine. Also, more talk of squirrels on average...

* * *

And finally, some ret-con posts that have been sitting around waiting for me to finish them. So if you want to step back in time a couple of weeks, you can hear me yappin' about something and whining about something else. Also, stayed tuned, as we'll shortly be having more info on the whole "stuff stolen from luggage" story...

Watching the Super-Bowl (Ads)...

...(and the Super-Bowl, too) because, really what else is there to do on Super-Bowl Sunday...?

Publish something back in time?

We spent sometime yesterday at Cousin Zach's 1st birthday party (his actual birthday isn't until over a week from now, but he didn't seem to mind getting the presents early... another thing we have in common...) Pictures forthcoming, I presume...

Let's see, I think there's a bunch of stuff I've had lying around...

I could have told them this one...

* * *

Apparently, Iron Man fans have lots of time on their hands... 'Course, I understand the movie is making people pretty excited.

* * *

Think about the future, why don'tcha?

And while you're wondering how quickly technology insinuates itself into our lives, you might want to check out this year's Beloit College Mindset list. For those of you unfamiliar with that, here's the explanation page. (It's also very good if you need to feel old...)

* * *

Then there's this:

17

More to come, I imagine...

Finally...

...this means that YouTube, now has everything on it. Repeat, everything is now on YouTube.

And I am, again, vindicated.

Powered by ScribeFire.

I have a lot more...

...to talk about (and seemingly have forever), but in the meantime, here's a little something someone at the AWLA sent me.





Cat lovers know it's funny because it's true...

When describing...

...the town where I grew up in New Jersey (insert your own joke here), I often refer to it as "a small Midwestern town, transplanted to the Northern New Jersey woodlands" -- which I have always felt was a reasonable description of West Milford Township (still "my hometown" at least in my head) -- at least when you factor in the notion that it's more my IDEA of what a small, Midwestern town is like, anyway.

Never has that been more true than today. I give you this piece from the Bergen Record:

Cow still running wild in W. Milford

Friday, June 1, 2007

By MICHAEL J. FEENEY
STAFF WRITER

For one evening, it was the Wild Wild West -- West Milford, that is.

There was the swarm of true-grit horse riders in Stetsons. There was the trail boss with a lasso and a gun. It was like an old-fashioned cattle drive.

The only thing missing -- again -- was the cow.

Despite the best efforts by about 20 riders combing woods and fields, a black cow continued to run wild through the township as night fell Thursday.

The escapee from a cow-herding horse competition has been out there for almost a month, getting fat on the foliage and posing a potential danger to motorists. And the posse had saddled up with one goal in mind – bring 'er in.

The cowpokes, looking smart in their western hats, doused in bug spray and astride their personal horses -- many specifically trained to herd cattle -- started out by cantering gently down a heavily wooded area, just off Gould Road and Union Valley Road, where the cow has been spotted numerous times.

But after a nearly two-hour search of the rocky and wooded terrain, it was time to admit failure.

"It was disappointing, but we'll try it again tomorrow," said John Macellaro of the Passaic County Sheriff's Department Auxiliary Mounted Unit, who organized the townshipwide cow hunt.

"It's becoming a nuisance," he said of the elusive bovine. "You just don't want the cow running out into the road and killing somebody."

Past searches have failed to get close to the wary animal. Police say one motorist has reported hitting the nearly 600-pound cow, which likely has gotten bigger since being out in the woods. Driver and cow were reported to be OK, but the car sustained significant damage.

Macellaro, who is certified in search and rescue, had made up a map grid to help strategically plan the search. The riders split up into four groups with high hopes that this time someone would locate the cow, which had been spotted as recently as Thursday morning. If they did, they would call in Macellaro, who had the goods to bring the critter in.

"There's more power in numbers," said Macellaro, riding his horse Snorty like a true cowboy, wearing spurs and a cowboy hat. "I got a rope and a tranquilizer gun. We really just want to catch him for the guy [owner Frank Battipaglia]."

Macellaro hoped the horses could find the cow and chase the animal around until it is tired and then he could move in with rope or tranquilizer.

The cow has been on the loose since May 6, when she jumped a fence during a cattle-herding horse competition at the West Milford Equestrian Center, owned by Frank and Ella Mae Battipaglia.

The all-black bovine with a cloth number zero tagged to its hide has been nearly impossible to catch, despite many close encounters with Frank Battipaglia, who has said the cow runs away when it sees him.

The cow doesn't belong to the Battipaglias. It's actually one of a small herd they rented from a Monticello, N.Y., livestock competition for the penning competition held in an indoor arena at the equestrian center.

Each of the cattle are tagged with a number, and competing horsemen use their skills to drive the cows into a pen at one end of the arena.

Kathy Leaver, who also organized the search, said, "We've been going out two or three times a week looking for the cow, just for fun. She needs to be caught."

Leaver said all the riders rode their personal horses, which are kept at Echo Lake Stables, a small ranch community in the Newfoundland section of the Highlands township.

Leaver and Macellaro own the stable.

Leaver, riding Aspen, was optimistic their biggest search would turn up with some positive results. She shouted, "Let's go guys, mount up," while reminding the riders the sun would be down by about 8:20 p.m.

Despite the results, Marta Samsel, riding Midnight Sky, was still smiling after the search ended.

"The cow was an excuse to go and have fun," she said.

Although the search didn't have a happy ending, Macellaro concluded, "We did see a lot of cow manure. Now we have a pretty good idea where she's been hanging."

And, naturally, just as everyone was parting ways and the horses were being loaded into trailers, another sighting came in.

Reason for another cattle drive, soon.

Copyright © 2007 North Jersey Media Group Inc.

So, um, there you go. We have some traffic lights now too, you know... (Freebird!) Thanks to my mom for sending that along.

Happy Trails!

True Story...

So the CEO of my company (who works right down the hall from my cube) comes by just as I'm about to step away for a second. This is not uncommon, as my cube is across the hall from three (count 'em, three...) Vice Presidents' offices. But he's not making direct eye contact, so I'm not sure if it's me he's talking to when he suddenly says, "So have you heard about this latest travesty?" And I glance to my left, not seeing anyone more important than myself that the comment could have been directed at. And I look past him, to see if there was someone right behind him that he might have been addressing; nope. So, concluding that he must be talking to me, I said, "Uhhhh...." (or words of a similar bend, displaying my mental acuity and speed of cognition).

To which he replies, "I really want to know who even thinks of this stuff?" And at this point, I'm beginning to get concerned, because it's not like some of my projects haven't had their little problems, and it's not that big a company that the CEO couldn't know this or have been called by an irate client. And I believe my follow up was, "Um, I'm sorry, I'm not sure..."

To which, he finally replies, somewhat vexed, "Did you hear that they are making a Spiderman MUSICAL?" (Cue, JAM mentally yelling "Whew!" and figuratively wiping his brow...)

"Heh. Oh, yeah, Paul, I think I did read something about that... It didn't work for Superman, either."

"Unbelievable."

"Say, Paul, we are going to get the afternoon of May 3rd off, right? To see Spiderman 3?"

Now it was his turn to look uncomfortable....

Engineering Students...

...they're wacky...

Star Wars?

So as I mentioned in my birthday post, MLW and I watched Star Wars (and no, I'm not calling it A New Hope -- it's just Star Wars). And curiously this evening as she flipped around channels when I left the room, I saw she happened upon the end of Episode I and then probably the last third of Episode III. But because WPE sent me this a few weeks back, I couldn't help but see them all in a completely different light. It makes a disturbing amount of sense... and also means that GWEK was right when, right after Episode I (I think) he said to me, "I'm telling you, Yoda and R2 are the only two that know the whole story..." but I don't want to emphasize that too much, lest it go to his head... But watch Star Wars after you read this, and tell me that maybe, just maybe, you can't see that Alec Guinness was playing coy with the trash can secret agent...